IN HIS MIND
by rachgreengeller
Summary: Based on the Neil LaBute play Some Girls..Before he marries Rachel, Ross has some homework to do. What does a woman want and how do you learn from your own mistakes? In his own mind, Ross visits some of the women of his past and tries to make restitution
1. Chapter 1

This is a new idea I have been playing with based on the Neil Labute play currently in London. In it before he marries Rachel, Ross has a conflict with his own past…he tries to resolve it by going back to the women of his past…in his mind.

These characters are the sole creation of BKC Productions…..

Wedding books covered the apothecary table and presents from Rachel's showers covered the floor. Finally after almost ten years and in his own mind twenty years, Ross was getting married. Yes he had been married before , but now he was marrying the "girl." The one that all others had been measured. Some would surrender to his passion of her , and others would fight to be like her. But it all came down to this.

In his thirty five years on this earth, Ross Geller had dated a lot of women, slept with a lot of them , and married three of them, his college sweetheart, a British girl who he had a whirlwind courtship and his best friend aka Rachel. What still remained a mystery to him was women.

To be the perfect man. That was his quest. Studying evolution did not allow him to become this. It was a time honored journey. One that began in that typing class over twenty years ago. He strived to win the girl, yet the girl didn't notice him.

"Ross? Which one do you like?" asked Rachel. Thanks to this upcoming wedding she had become as blithering a fool as his sister Monica. Weddings had become Rachel's obsession. There wasn't a conversation or a day that would go by that he wouldn't be asked about something he really didn't care about. A man's job at a wedding was to be told where to stand and who to talk to and that was it. If it wouldn't have been her, he would have insulted her and had her in tears, but he couldn't do that , she was his treasure. She was Rachel.

Holding up the salmon swatches, she held them up to the light. Her eye for fashion allowed her to make important decisions about the bridesmaids gowns .

"I kind of am leaning toward this one." she said as she put it on the table. Looking down at it, he gave a look of boredom. He that had a PhD in paleontology, college professor and lecturer, published in professional journals was now thought of as no more than a wedding consultant. "It's nice." he said as he smiled.

"You're patronizing me, you have no interest in this at all. This is your wedding too , you know." she argued.

"Yes it is, my fourth wedding." he yelled.

"Four marriages, three divorces and it looks like you still don't know anything about women." exclaimed Rachel. "I thought you grew up, but it looks like you are still the selfish, jealous , egocentric know it all you were when we broke up." Rachel was tired and seemingly taking most of her wedding frustrations out on her fiancee. "Don't you know what women want?" she asked..

What do women want? Do they want to be loved or coddled? Do they want their freedom or be taken care of ? Maybe they just want to be loved or love whatever they want. Here he was thirty seven years old and father of two, one of them another woman in training. Did he really know what women wanted? Did they want to be satisfied in bed or driven to orgasms? Did they want to be cuddled, talked dirty to, or basically driven to the point their heads would bang into the headboard as the man forced himself into her as some sort of primal need to prove himself as a great lover.

Scratching his head, Ross walked into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and then eyed the wrinkles under his eyes. Thirty seven. He could remember when his father was thirty seven and now he was. He carefully combed through the dark brown roots to see if they had started. Rachel was lucky, she would see any of those tell tale signs of age, and she would go to the store or the beauty salon . Joey had them immediately covered as an actor, but Ross couldn't show the signs of age. He was a man comfortable with his own maleness , but not his masculinity. One time he was around a male who wasn't scared to be sensitive. The thought shook Ross to the very core.

Sensitivity, but isn't there such a thing as being too sensitive? Can you cross the line from sensitive into gay town?

The room was dark , as well as the apartment. Emma was in her big girl bed , as she called it. He quietly opened the door and looked down at the sleeping angel. He said she was pure Rachel. Her angelic look convinced him of that. How could any child that looked so perfect be so devilish when she is awake? That could only be the terrible twos. Ross bent down and kissed his daughter on the cheek and tucked her stuffed animal next to her. Having done that, he crept back toward his own room. Rachel was brushing her hair and genuinely ignoring him.

"Still mad I see." he said. Rachel ran the brush angrily through her hair. "Oh I see we are not talking now."

"You can talk to whoever you like, just as long as it isn't to me." Rachel said. "Right now I don't even want to know you exist." She pulled the sheet over her body and closed her eyes. He pursed his lips and took a breath. Sitting on the edge of his side of the bed, he put his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. What do women want? He laid his head on the down pillows and then looked over at the woman to his side. He would give this angel, this paragon of women whatever she wanted. If he could only figure out what the hell that was.

Finally the recesses of sleep had taken their toll and the confused professor could for a few hours forget his earthly problems. There was never a better place to escape than in dreams. But this was not to be the case in his mind. The room was dark and yet there was a candle lit in the middle of the room. The room had an old fashioned four poster bed with a white linen canopy. On the top of the sheets were rose petals and by the bed were two tulip stemmed glasses. It was obvious this was a bed of romance and love.

This wasn't his own room. It was a room from the past. A room where he possibly made love . The woman's face was unclear , but she had on a virginal white long nightgown that had her breasts peeking out from behind the cups. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow and it appeared to be a very light shade of blonde. The light illuminated her ivory skin and he immediately recognized her.

"Carol?"


	2. Carol

Carol Willick luxuriously stretched in her white night gown . Her breasts were exposed and cradled in delicate white lace. Her lips were the color of blood to match her nails. It was very appropriate for her to be attired in this as she was the woman who seduced him then tore his heart apart.

"Do you trust me?" she whispered. "But more importantly , do you trust yourself?" she said as she moved her lips close to his neck. She had him in her clutch as she pushed her rose colored lips to his.

"Carol!" he exclaimed. "I am engaged to be married."

"I know, but at one time, that was just enough to get you started. Remember the night of five times?" she purred.

"That was a long time ago, and before you became a lesbian."he yelled. "You are married and have Susan, you got your way."

"Just because I have Susan, doesn't mean I can't be with you. You are the first man I ever truly loved and I am the woman who took away your virginity. That has to mean something."

"It means that when you left me, you took away a part of me, The part that trusted women. It took me a long time and almost the woman I truly loved , to learn I could trust again. You were the one who made me the suspicious , jealous lunatic I became."

"So we were on a break was my fault? Oh no Ross, that was your own mistake. You could have gone home or to Monica's that night. You chose to be the man again, get drunk and prove your manhood by satisfying another woman. You single handedly broke Rachel's heart that night."

"It continued though, what about Emily What about her and Susan in London? "

"You were the one who couldn't be trusted. Did you forget Julie, whose heart was broken when you proclaimed your love for Rachel? Emily who loved you enough to marry you, then you pay her back by saying another woman's name at the altar, and Mona who you wanted to have a relationship with , while the woman you had worshipped was carrying your child, and Charlie , who had just broken up with your best friend."

"And my best friend was kissing the mother of my child."

"You are a goddamn hypocrite. You talk of trust and yet people still don't trust you. The most important thing in a relationship is trust. "

"You trusted me." Ross said meekly. "And I trusted you Carol. Then you hurt me, more than you will ever know."

"I wasn't being true to myself. I was trying to be what society wanted me to be, what you wanted me to be. I started out as an educated, free thinking woman and ended up playing wife and shadow to my more educated husband. You took away my identity and made me feel stupid next to you."

"We had such big dreams when we got together Carol. You and I were going to travel and you were going to study foreign literature and I was going to dig for fossils."

"Then reality set in. You have always had a tendency to be a romantic and that is your major flaw."

"I thought that is what you liked about me." He whined.

"You're romanticizing has always been a liability in all of your relationships, darling. You are marrying a girl who you have been in love with for almost thirty years. At one point, she didn't even know you existed. Are you in love with the fantasy of Rachel or are you in love with the real Rachel? You couldn't have Rachel, so you fantasized this beautiful relationship and marriage , and that is why you married Emily. You never loved her."

"I did too, she made me feel I could be spontaneous and daring. Things I once did with you." He argued.

Carol got up from the bed and stretched seductively again. Ross had since moved to the other side of the room. He couldn't understand why this woman was trying to seduce him , then began a fight. Her words were daggers she threw at him. Apparently she wasn't through hurting him yet, there was more to do.

"Carol , why are you doing this?" Ross said as he took one of the glasses and began to drink the liquid in the glass.

"I am trying to save Rachel what I went through. Rachel is not an ideal , but a person. She is a pure red blooded woman who makes mistakes and gets up in the morning looking like shit."

"Rachel looks so beautiful, even when she has no makeup on." He smiled when he said this.

"Don't you get it? She was not put on this earth just to be the woman of your dreams. She is a person. She earns money and wipes up your child's shit. She is no better than you or me."

"What am I supposed to learn from all this Carol?"

Carol walked over to him and cupped his chin. "You can worship her and love her for the rest of your lives. But don't make the mistake of trying to make her into what you want, let Rachel be her own person , let her make mistakes. It was that quality that came out of the real Rachel, that made you love her even more. She was the girl who gave up everything to make a life for herself. It's ironic almost ten years later, she gave up her own dreams to come back to you."

Carol kissed him softly. "Don't blow it this time, Ross." "I know what it takes to love a woman."

"Believe me, I know." He smiled.

Waking up , he looked over at Rachel. A smile drifted from her lips . Could her thoughts be of him or some evil torture she could use on him? Ross closed his eyes again and he saw a woman with a pith helmet and khaki. She was unclear again, until the sun illuminated her olive skin. Her teeth sparkled and she clutched a digging tool.

Her name was Julie….and her heart had been broken by Ross.


	3. Julie

It was Julie, who would forever be known as Julie from China. Rachel found out about Ross' love for her and ran to the airport to welcome back her friend. When she got there, she found him kissing her and was with Julie until the night of the kiss at Central Perk. Julie slowly and deliberately walked toward Ross holding the large shovel, ready to strike him with it. His last memories of her were throwing things at him and ducking when he told her of his love for Rachel.

"Julie, it's been thirteen years, get over it." He said cowering.

"It still hurts, you told me all the wonderful things we were going to do and all the great digs we would go on. We were going to get a cat and then who knows what else." She cried as she laid down the shovel. She tore off the khaki to reveal an elegant red and black oriental robe. She knelt down and picked up a long haired white cat. "She's beautiful isn't she?"

"Yes, she is." agreed Ross as he tried to pet her. The cat hissed at him and took a swipe. Ross was never that fond of cats, remembering the night he was going to tell Rachel his feelings. Julie pulled her away screaming. "No one touches my pussy, my baby." She cradled the cat in her arms like a baby.

Next to her was a table of crystal vases. They were flawless in their beauty. Each one of them was a work of art. Holding her cat in one hand, she picked up a vase and hurled it at Ross.

"Isn't this where we left off?" he cried. "Julie, I loved you, well maybe not loved you, but I might have been on the way to, if there would have never been a Rachel."

"I was your perfect woman. I knew how to make you happy. I shared your passion for science. I was your intellectual equal. We would have had such brilliant children. Now you are marrying her, that waitress."

"Julie, you don't know what happened after you and I broke up. Rachel and I dated for a year, then I cheated on her, we broke up, said we made a mistake, she tried to blame me for everything, we broke up in the middle of sex, I found another woman and married her, said Rachel's name at my wedding instead of hers, went to Vegas got drunk married Rachel since Emily had left me. Got my third divorce and then after one night of sex, Rachel got pregnant. We have a daughter named Emma and after I thought I would lose Rachel forever, we are getting married."

"You're getting married to that waitress!" Julie screamed as she threw another vase.

"I have been married twice since we broke up, Julie. I am sorry I hurt you."

"Well the next time you fall for a woman, make sure there is room in your heart for her." She said as she sadly sat in the big red velvet chair. "Make sure you truly love her." She said softly as she put her hair up into a bun.

"I do love her, Julie. I loved her then and will love her forever." He said.

"You have a terrible tendency to put women on a pedestal and compare them to another. Even your dear Rachel has flaws." Julie said coyly. "If she didn't, there would have never been a list to compare us."

"That list was a dumb mistake suggested by two idiots." Ross said as he scoffed.

"Nonetheless, you made that list and if it wasn't for that list, we would have still been together." Another vase came sailing. Again he ducked.

Ross came over slowly and held Julie's hand as if to appease her. He softly said." Julie, I know we would have been great together. That's why I made the list. I was happy with you, but there was something missing. You were great and a paleontologist, my intellectual equal, but you weren't her." Julie winced when he said that. "There was only one Rachel."

"Rachel! Rachel! Rachel" she screamed. "You never wanted an intellectual equal because that would have threatened you. You wanted to be the smart one. Rachel was perfect for you because she was dumb and pretty. She was just a waitress."

This angered Ross enough to stand up from his own chair. "Rachel is not dumb. I am very proud of how she went from being a spoiled little Daddy's girl to a fashion executive. She did it all on her own too. She is incredibly intelligent and has a keen sense of style. She is now an executive for Polo."

"You are still the smart one. You are still a paleontology professor. It was always your career, but I bet when she started to advance, it threatened you, because she wasn't the little waitress anymore and I bet that's when it ended."

"I let her go to Paris; I even bartered my precious dinosaur artifacts to keep her in the US. I thought I was doing it for Emma, but I was doing it for us." Ross tried valiantly to explain to Julie, but it all seemed point less. Julie had made Rachel to be the enemy.

"If Rachel would have become more educated, would you love her as much? Or would you be threatened? And tell me how much interest has she taken in your career?"

"Rachel has always supported me. She has gone to lectures with me. She would always listen when I read her my papers that were to be published, and she went all the way to Barbados to hear me when I was the keynote speaker at a conference."

"I do know how she supported you. She griped and complained at those lectures and at that conference, laughed at the term "homo erectus." She has never fully supported you and thought of your profession as a joke. She has put you down in front of others as a geek and a doofus." Julie smiled when she thought what she said had done its damage.

Ross had an introspective look in his eye. He knew what Julie was trying to do. Rachel had never meant to hurt him. After all, he had done the most heinous thing that a man could do to a woman betray her. That night with Chloe could have been prevented. All he had to have done was just gone home and waited for her phone call. It would have come. And Rachel just misunderstood his science . That's why she might have laughed at something she didn't understand, not to hurt him as Julie claimed. "We have always been two different people. In high school she was the most popular girl in school, no one knew I existed. One thing will always bring us together though, a force that no matter how many times we have been torn apart, unites us. That is a heart that beats as one. That is what is called love, Julie. That force was so powerful and wonderful, it created Emma."

"I am happy for you, but remember, just let the woman be herself. Respect her career and her own interests. Share each others passion." She walked into a mist and once again he was awake staring at Rachel. Shaking it off as another dream, he fell back asleep.

The vision was dark and ominous. It was as if Ross had went back in time to the Garden of Eden, where temptation started. He was now naked and standing in front of a snake like woman. Her mouth was as red as blood and instead of offering him an apple, she offered herself.

She was the woman to change everything forever, she was the one who he had slept with, the reason they went on a break that lasted seven years, Chloe.

"


	4. Chloe

As the fog cleared, Ross could see there was a snake like creature with a woman's face. That face was the face of Chloe. The woman was then attired in a snakeskin catsuit.

"Ross, Ross." She hissed. She came toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He had the most petrified look on his face as she danced around him. She slid into his lap and began a lap dance. Her eyes shone in the dark and her nails pierced his olive skin.

"What could I have possibly learned from you. You are the woman who wrecked the best thing I ever had. It is only by the good grace of God that this woman has forgiven me. I hate you. If it wasn't for you, I would have been married a long time ago." Ross ranted and then threw her off of him. She landed on the floor and then started to crawl toward him.

"Don't blame me for your own weaknesses. You are only a man and I was only a woman." She said to him with a red painted nail pointed at him. "I did only what I wanted to do that night. I wanted to fuck a guy and you were there. Hey if it wouldn't have been you, it would have been your buddies. Maybe they would have been more fun. I mean they were good looking and willing and I wouldn't have had to listen to this guy whine about another girl all night."

"I shouldn't have been with you. I should have just went home and waited for her. The whole night was a mistake." Ross said as he sat down and put his head in his hands.

"You mean you are still beating yourself for a mistake you made ten years ago? " Chloe said as she sat up.

"Hey she was the one who couldn't forgive me. She told me that she wanted a break and I thought she wanted to break up with me. I never knew that the next day she would come over and beg to be my girlfriend again. Then when she found out, I hurt her worse than I had ever hurt any person. And she was the one I never wanted to hurt. That night cost me seven years of my life, a life I could have had with her."

Chloe came over and put her arm around Ross. "But Ross, this is in the past. You and Rachel are going to start a whole new life together. What you need to do is bury all the bad memories of the past. You are two people who are very much in love. You have a beautiful daughter and that daughter deserves to have her parents in the mind set of the future not the past.

"Chloe, you are absolutely right." Ross said. "She does deserve to have the slate clean."

"I am not going to say that everything that night was unpleasant . You were so sweet, but you were hurting. You knew what to do in bed, yet you were tender and gentle. I knew that the girl who finally did get you body and soul would be the luckiest girl in the world. I kind of wished that a guy like you would like a girl like me. " Chloe confessed. "Most men just think of me as a good time girl, not someone to settle down with. I actually felt bad when I heard what happened and how she broke up with you. You talked of her with so much passion and your eyes actually sparkled when you said her name "Rachel."

Ross went back in his mind to that night. He had planned the most romantic of nights. Rachel and him had been together for a year. 365 nights of making love and kissing. But ironically just as on their first date, one of them had to work, Rachel was new at Bloomingdales and she didn't want to lose her job for such a lame excuse as her anniversary with her boyfriend. He was going to take her to the museum and they were going to have a picnic , then the stars would ask the question he had in his heart…. Will you marry me?

"Chloe I didn't want to use you either. You seemed like such a nice girl all the times I came in the copy shop." Ross said. "I even thought about asking you out on a real date, but it would have been weird."

"I know what you mean. That girl had to get something copied for work and she came into the shop and all she did was keep staring at me. I didn't know what to do. She was there with another girl, with dark hair."

"My sister , Monica." Ross stated. "That is her best friend."

She whispered to the other girl and then they both gave me the dirtiest looks. I mean , a real look of hate. I never understood why they were so mean to me , until Isaac told me that was Rachel. Then I understood. If she could have, she probably would have wanted to kill me." Chloe said. " I didn't mean to sleep with you .It just happened."

"So what can I learn from you?" asked Ross eager to learn the lesson from Chloe.

"Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect." Chloe said. "You may make the same mistake again and if you do, you can't be afraid to admit that you are human and both of you may make mistakes. Love each other even though you aren't perfect. Chloe kissed him on the lips. "Good bye Ross." She whispered.

The bells of Big Ben were chiming. Ross could hear the sounds of the boats on the Thames. London. To his sister, it would be the start of the greatest love affair of her life. To him , another one of his mistakes.

"Hello Ross." A cold woman with a British accent said to him unemotionally.

"Emily?" he said as he tried to see through the fog.

Another update hurray.. hey it was a good day at work….


	5. Emily

Taking his hands , he cleared a path through the pea soup fog of London. A city that was full of history. Not a history of the ages, but his history, where his past and someone else's future would meet. This was an event that should have never taken place, for it was obvious when he did say her name , where his heart was and would remain.

"Emily, somehow I knew it would be you. Are you going to punch me in the stomach again or better yet slap me in the face?" Ross said almost scared to go up to her.

"I forgive you." She whispered. " It has taken me a long time to realize this but I do forgive you." Emily had almost a shy smile like a little girl on her face. It could have been the face of innocence or the face of youth.

"You forgive me. Is that why you called me the night before you got married or didn't you ever get married?" Ross said as he cautiously continued walking toward her.

"I married Colin, life had to go on. I was only calling you to make sure I hadn't made a mistake. Looking back , I didn't." Emily was wearing a black trenchcoat that was sinched up to her neck. She also had her brown hair pulled back with a head band. Sincerity was what she wore the most of though.

" I humiliated you , I made you the fool in front of your friends and family, I said another woman's name." Ross said as he walked closer to her.

"You said the name of the woman you love. That is what a man is supposed to say when he is pledging his love to a woman, when I saw her there, I knew why she was there." Emily confessed. "She was there because she was still in love with you. A woman knows these things. I knew we were going too fast and we should have waited." Emily put her hand on Ross' shoulder. "Now I have a confession, I was still in love with Colin. I wanted Colin to be there when you were standing next to me. I imagined the hall as it was , but with Colin. I loved Colin more than life itself, but he hurt me." She started to sob. "I thought I couldn't trust him and that's why after a long painful night. We broke up. I wanted to get on with my life and then my uncle heard of the break up and invited me to New York, and that is when I met you. You were the one who helped me get over him. Then after we were "married." Colin came to me and we talked . I thought that I would give you another chance. I had a feeling that you couldn't stay away from Rachel and I knew I was being unreasonable. " She felt like she was getting the weight of the world off her chest and for the first time in many years, it felt good.

"So you and Colin were just like Rachel and I ?" Ross asked this as he turned around to see the face of his second wife.

"You brought us back together." She smiled . "And I will be eternally grateful for that."

Ross didn't know what to say after that. He thought that he had wrecked this woman of all loves, past , present , and future. Instead he had given her the greatest gift of all, the true love of her life back.

"Colin and I have been married and have three beautiful children." She smiled when she said that and took out her wallet and showed them. "it is my hope Ross that you have found true love as well."

Ross straightened up . "I have." He wanted to say to her that the minute she told him she couldn't trust him. Rachel and him fell back into love that same night. He wanted to be able to paint the same Norman Rockwell / Disney fairy tale that she described of her own life. "It's just taken me quite a while." He shamefully admitted.

For the first time Emily was uneasy with herself. She started to get the look again when she was angry. "Are you meaning to tell me that just now, after all these years and after everything, you have settled down with that woman. I thought I was setting you free to have the woman of your dreams. "

Ross didn't want to admit it, but he owed this to Emily. "There were a lot of complications. I wanted her, she didn't want me, we got drunk and married in Vegas, I still had feelings for her, we made out on Monica and Chandler's engagement night."

Emily put up her hand. "Hold it ! Hold it ! Hold it! Monica your sister and Chandler your best mate? "

Ross was glad to have some relief to this whole tirade.. "Yes, when we were getting married. They were falling in love."

"I'm glad to see that something good came out of all of this ." Emily smiled

Ross didn't know what this journey would hold. The lessons he would learn from this woman in his past would be ones to note. He hurt this woman as well , maybe not as bad as Rachel., but he played her for the fool. She was his experiment. Could he have a life without Rachel Green? Of course , the experiment was a failure. All conclusions could now be made. She would be in his life now and forever.

"Emily , Rachel and I are getting married."

She exploded . "Well it's bloody well time isn't it?"

"We have a tie now and forever. We have a child a beautiful little girl named Emma. We got together one night and that is when she was conceived." Now Ross took out his wallet and showed her. Emily looked down at it and tears came to her eyes. "My God she looks just like her. But her smile , her smile is yours.You see Ross if we had stayed together, this beautiful creature would have never been born."

"As I have getting ready to be married to my one true love, I have tried to find the women in my life and each of them have been teaching me something about women." Ross said earnestly to Emily.

"What can you tell me about women, Emily Waltham?" he asked looking into her eyes and holding her hand.

"That once you find true love, never let it go. Love is hard to find in this life. We have both been lucky, we have found the love of our lives. Don't let her go this time. She came back into your life for a reason and you two are meant to be together." Emily said sincerely.

"Kind of like lobsters." Ross had to laugh at the ancient reference that Phoebe made.

"Lobsters?" Emily said confused.

"A very dear friend of mine said that Rachel and I would be like lobsters. Lobsters mate for life and they walk through the tank holding their claws together. I guess when her time on this earth is gone, I will be the one holding her hand as she leaves or I will be the one when she becomes an angel at the gates of heaven." He sighed and then he walked over and gave Emily a kiss.

She held her cheek. "What was that for?" he smiled. "For understanding and for just reminding me of what I knew all along."

Slowly Emily walked back into the fog. "Good bye Ross. I did love you." She echoed.

Suddenly another picture came up , it was of a little girl or a woman who was dressed like a child. Ross was standing in a nursery that reminded him of his own daughter's room.

She had blonde hair and it was in pigtails. She was holding a stuffed dinosaur and and sitting in a rather large playpen.

Ross had to close his eyes and then blink….

"Mona?".


	6. Mona

Mona had her hair in pigtails and she wore a tiny little jumper. She was incarcerated in a huge play pen. Clutched in her hands was a stuffed dinosaur and she sucked on a pacifier. She pulled it from her mouth.

"Hello Ross." She said sarcastically. Ross peered through the bars of the large playpen. In the corner was a framed picture, and in that picture was the two of them at Rockefeller Center skating in front of the huge Christmas tree. He remembered it as the picture she wanted to have made into a card. "Well Mona , I see you are still mad at me." He said as Mona picked up some toys and threw at him. Then she pulled herself up and stuck out her tongue at him.

"Why shouldn't I be mad at you? You made me look like an idiot. I loved you and you were still holding the torch for that little fashion queen. You kept it from me that she was pregnant and then you invite her into your house without telling me." She raged.

Ross tried to reason with Mona. "I told you before , when my son was born , I missed everything . I missed his first steps , the first time he kicked , everything. When Rachel became pregnant , it was Joey's idea that she move in , so I could feel more like I was part of the pregnancy. " Mona walked over to him still clutching the dinosaur. "But why couldn't you have told me this? I wanted to share in this baby. I even bought her A Fossils are my Friend shirt. I would have made her a great stepmommy." Mona whined.

Ross walked over to her. "Mona , you just had bad timing. I know we could have really been great together. I mean you didn't think I was this big dorky guy, you really liked me. I really liked you. But there was the baby and Rachel, and that caused me to have to go through a lot to think about what and if she still meant something to me." Ross realized this was when he started to think of Rachel in his life again.

"Mona , Rachel and are engaged . We are going to be getting married soon. What I have been doing is going back to the relationships of the past and trying to see what I did wrong. I think the only things that were wrong with us were bad timing and the fact that I kept things from you." Ross tried to explain. "You were really great." He said to her smiling.

"I dated other guys. But then I learned that I couldn't trust them and their pasts. I became suspicious of every little phone conversation and even started to go through their wallets. I would sleep with them and then I would go through their bureaus to try to find something to pin on them anything. " Mona confessed. "I thought if one guy kept his past from me, then every guy I dated would do that. Then they all stayed away from me and I had to see a therapist. She asked me why I didn't trust men, and I said very bluntly. " I was seeing a guy , and I really liked him. I thought we actually had a future. Then I found out his ex girlfriend was pregnant with his kid. Then I found out how long a history this relationship went back and I realized that I was only a pawn in their games. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she moved into his apartment and I found this out on Valentines Day." Mona said out of breath.

Ross was shocked. "Are you trying to say that I caused all these problems ? Are you blaming this all on me?" he yelled.

"I was a normal girl, who was in her thirties. Yes, I thought about not having someone special. Then Monica started talking to me about her wonderful brother and how we would hit it off. I thought maybe he is a nice guy. Of course, she never told me that he had been married three times and divorced three times. She also didn't tell me that on a regular basis , he was in contact with his ex girlfriend. Or that the real reason , he broke up with most of his exes was to make one more shot at her." Mona said vindictively. "Then you came into my life and messed me up more than I ever was before. "

Ross gave her a thoughtful look. He even walked over and started to kiss her. Mona pulled away. "What are you doing?" Ross replied. "I am not a married man yet I am trying to see what I ever did see you in you. You are a petty person." He sneered. "And you are a selfish one." She snarled. "You wanted your cake and you wanted to eat it too. You wanted Rachel and you wanted me."

"I have been trying to find out what I can learn from each relationship and how I can use it in my marriage. " Ross tried to explain as he propped himself up on the playpen. "Tell me what can you teach me?" he asked sincerely.

"To not keep secrets and tell each other everything. That was the biggest liability in our relationship. Be honest and truthful, " Mona said honestly. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek."I am so sorry Mona, it didn't work out." She sighed "So am I." as he walked away.

The next scene that Ross found was a cave. This was very familiar to him because of his vocation as a paleontologist. Caves were second nature to him as he searched for fossils and proof of prehistoric life. He carefully walked in and then he saw her garbed in fur and dressed like a cave man.

"Charlie." He muttered.


	7. Charlie

Ross couldn't believe his eyes. He knew that Charlie was probably the hottest woman he had ever been with. Outside of course, of what he would refer to as "the dirty girl." She stood in front of him draped in furs like a hot, black cavewoman. The white fur made her ebony skin glow even more. He seemed to be hypnotized by this hot woman, even though he was no longer an available male.

"Hello Dr. Geller , " she purred as she strided along in her matching furs boots that were tied with ropes around her legs. Ross turned coldly to her as the spell was broken. She did dump him and in front of her ex.

"Hello Charlie," he said coldly. He then remembered this was the same woman who called his best friend dumb and also dumped him and then within an hour jumped his bones."Oh and by the way in case you were interested, I didn't get my grant. Your ex was supposed to give it to me for giving you back to him remember?" he said sarcastically. "Oh I am so so sorry Rossy." She said as she threw herself against his body. "Actuallly Hobie and I broke up, he left me for some dumb super model. " she pouted. "So as you can see, I am free as the wind and ready to fly." She said pushing herself against him. "I 'm not." Ross said as he backed away from her.

Charlie now was going to say her piece. "Speaking of exes, that was a real good performance that night with Joey and Rachel. " Ross was a little embarrassed about the night he invited Joey and Rachel to his apartment when he found out they were dating. "In case you didn't know , Joey had told me the whole story about you two. I knew you were still in love with her." She said as she had her hands on her hips."I also knew that you had a history of being with someone after they had broken up." Ross could counter that. "Then you and I have something in common, because I remember you had just left your ex in Boston and then went after Joey, then right after you and Joey broke up , you went after me, and then when your ex showed up , you dumped me for him."

"Well I have learned a very valuable lesson about men." Said Charlie philosophically.

"And what is that ?" Ross said as he eagerly wanted to know any insights about women and what they thought.

She pulled her fur around her cleavage and then licked her lips. "That having a brain really doesn't matter when it comes to men. They only want a hot girl, they could care less whether she had a Phd or not."

"Are you still teaching Professor Wheeler?" he asked in a professional way.

"Nope , I have been modeling for Victoria 's Secret and posing for Playboy." Charlie was very proud of her body. "You can get further ahead with a hot body then with a brain." She smiled. "And what has been happening with you?" Suddenly Charlie was interested in Ross' activities.

"Well I am getting married." He said happily.

"And I bet I know to who?" she sighed. Ross smiled. "Yes , to Rachel. She was going to Paris to work for a designer and then after I begged her to stay, she gave it up and now we are going to get married."

She was curious, "So how is Joey these days?" Ross stated. "Well he doesn't live in New York anymore. He is in Los Angeles and is making some big movie that will make him a star." Charlie nodded. "I thought he was a really sweet guy. I just had never been with some guy that wasn't a brain before ."she said sweetly.

"Or a guy that hadn't won the Nobel Prize, oh wait a minute, you were with two guys that had never won the Nobel Prize." He said as he sank his head realizing that he was the other one. Charlie lifted it. "Hey you will get your chance. You are brilliant and besides that kind of sexy." She flirted.

"Is that why you dumped me?' Ross asked. "I still had feelings for someone who meant a great deal to me. If anyone would understand that it would be you." Ross agreed with her. "Well what I have been doing , good scientist that I am , is that I have been trying to analyze all of my past failed relationships with women. And then I try to get a lesson out of it so I won't do it again." Charlie nodded with understanding . "Don't try to bury the past. Deal with it. You and Rachel have known each other for a long time. That is what makes your relationship so special. You started out as friends, then best friends , then lovers , and now you two are going to be man and wife.You have grown with each other. You have made mistakes, unfortunately some of those mistakes have hurt other people. And you guys have the best bond of all , your friends." Charlie said sympathetically. Ross was confused. "And what do my friends have to do with me and Rach?" Charlie continued. "They have supported you from the very beginning. And you draw strength from them. The first thought on your mind when we were in Barbados and you wanted to be with me was Joey. And I bet after he realized he wanted to be with Rachel , his thoughts were on you. And your sister, isn't she Rachel's best friend?" Ross got the idea. "Yeah , we have known each other since we were kids. In fact , I have been in love with her since I was fifteen." He said dreamily. "And Chandler was the one who told Rachel I was in love with her. And my friend Phoebe always convinced me that Rachel and I belonged together."

"They are more than friends , they are your family." Charlie said softly. "They will always be there for you." She took Ross face in her hands and then kissed his forehead. "Be happy Ross, you deserve this and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Embrace you and Rachel's history and don't hide it." She blew him a kiss and walked away. Ross stood and watched as she left.

Next thing he knew there was a girl standing there. Ross didn't recognize her face at all. She was wearing a mini dress and her hair was honey blonde . If he would have known better, she looked a little bit like Rachel , but he would certainly know his bride to be. He walked over and looked her over even closer. She looked at him and was unsure how to deal with this man staring at her. She finally broke her silence. "Daddy?" she said smiling. Then it dawned on Ross who was standing before him.

"Emma." Was all he could say.


	8. Emma

After reading Some Girls and by special request…In His Mind continues….i am dedicating this story to two actors who made me fall in love with this play…to David and Eric.

She stood before him with shining blue eyes and golden hair. A copy of the woman he loved. He remembered her this morning as a bright eyed toddler clutching a dinosaur and kissing her daddy. Time had progressed and his own little girl was standing before him as a young woman. Obviously a copy of her mother, which frightened him because that meant he would be the overly protective father. No man would be good enough for her. He also noticed that she didn't inherit Rachel's nose, this would make her happy.

"I have often wondered what you looked like when I was young. You were quite handsome." The young girl smiled. If he didn't know who this really was, Ross would have been flattered as this girl flirted with him. "I see what Mom saw in you."

"You don't know how odd this is? I mean , I am looking at my three year old daughter as a beautiful young woman. And I bet a beautiful, intelligent woman." Ross said still eyeing her unbelievingly. Emma nodded her head."Yes Daddy. I have a 4.0 and I attend Columbia , I am majoring in Psychology. There was no way I would go to NYU." She giggled. "Even with a free ride. I am studying psychology because I am fascinated with human behavior, especially relationships. My term paper was on my family."

So she was a brain. His hopes for his daughter had come to fruition. She also was fascinated with human emotion and studying it. She would some day be a famous psychologist or even an author. She could be another Freud or Dr Phil. Ross was alive with the possibilities of the future. Emma Geller was that future and she was the combination that everyone had predicted…beauty and brains.

"Then you would definitely understand what I am looking for." Ross smiled. "I have went to the different women in my past and tried to learn from my own mistakes. I have asked them why we didn't work out and they all seem to say the same thing." Emma knew what he was getting at. She nodded her head and smiled . "Mom." Was all she said.

"They said I have objectified her and put her on a pedestal so much that no woman has ever been able to compete with her. They tire of that and then decide that the battle is fruitless and then break up or cause us to break up." Ross stated.

"Dad, no woman is perfect. And they all have their flaws and their strengths. You better than any man should know that . I mean didn't you and Uncle Chandler and Uncle Joey make that dumb list?" Emma said. This shocked Ross. "You mean you know about the list?" he exclaimed. "Yes Daddy, I know . I know about you drinking the fat, I know about the Prom Video, giving up the Discovery Channel to take mom to the hospital, I even know where I came from." She said the last part softly. "I know you weren't married."

Ross turned to her with a shocked look in his eye. "And who was the one that told you? Let me guess? Hmm , probably your Uncle Chandler. When I get my hands on him.." he said threatingly Emma put her hands on her father's shoulder. "Daddy , it was Mom. Before I went away to school, I asked her to tell me some things. I have always wanted to know about you guys and Mom promised me when I was older , she and I would have a talk." Emma said looking at her father. Ross had the look of a man who saw a ghost. "Emma, sweetie, …" Then Emma put her finger to her father's lips to stop him from saying it.

"Daddy, it's alright. I know that when I was conceived, you weren't together. I spent the first year of my life at Uncle Joey's and I even know about Mom and Uncle Joey." Ross looked into her eyes. "You were the best thing that ever came from your Mom and me. You probably helped us to stop denying our feelings for each other. I came very close to losing her." He said softly.

"Yes Paris. I don't care about some stupid story about a video or a bottle of wine or even the fact that I was conceived on my aunt and uncle's wedding invitations. I wasn't a cheap one night stand , I was the product of two peoples love. A love that would not die. And that makes me feel good." Emma said. Ross for the first time embraced his little girl.

"You know what I want to do?" Emma said enthusiastically. Ross was puzzled. "And what is that?" he asked curiously. "I want to find a man like you. A man who is intelligent and cultured, who would love and worship me like you do Mom. He also should have a sense of humor and loyalty like Uncle Chandler and a good and childlike heart like Uncle Joey. If I could combine all three of you, then that would be the perfect man. I may sound like an optimist, but I really think that this man does exist. " Emma said with hope.

"You really want a man like your old man?" Ross said surprised. This was an ironic turn of events. Here he was trying to make himself into a better man for Rachel, yet the one woman who would love him no matter what he would do saw him as the perfect man.

"You were in love with her since you were kids. You wrote her songs and you were going to take her to the prom because you couldn't stand to see her cry. That has to be one of the most romantic things I have ever heard. " she cooed.

"But Emma, I hurt her. I was unfaithful to her. If Emily would have gotten her way. I would have never seen her again." Ross said with shame. Emma put her arms around him. "Professor Geller, do you want to know what your daughter can teach you ?" Emma stated. Suddenly Ross was interested again. "And what is that, Dr. Geller?" he smiled as he addressed his daughter with the name he had for most of his adult life.

"Forget the bad. Let it go. But keep the memories that you cherish the most. Remember you are starting a journey together. But the journey should be pleasurable, not painful. As you grow old and you sit in the living room, don't be afraid to laugh at Vegas or try to capture that same feeling you felt that night at the Planetarium. Just be together and love each other. " Emma talked with tears in her voice. She put her arms around her father and looked at him one last time. "I love you Daddy. I wish you luck on your journey." She said as she walked away.

Before he knew it, he wiped his eyes. Emma kept looking back as she continued to walk. Her eyes were filled with tears. It almost made him wonder if Emma would truly get to know her father or was she merely looking at a ghost. He would be there for her like his parents always were for him. That he decided. Then the familiar mist came again.

A Shaun Cassidy song was playing. He didn't know if it was Hey Deanie or Da Doo Run Run but it was the younger Cassidy. A Lincoln High pennant hung on the wall. It was definitely not his room or Monica's. The furnishings were elegant but done for a young girl. Large stuffed animals littered the bed along with a small pink pony with a braided tail. He still was unclear where he was until he heard a voice cheering…

Two bits , four bits , six bits a dollar all for Lincoln Stand up and holler! The girl entered the door wearing a red sweater with a large L on it and a short red and white skirt. She waved two pom poms and threw them on the bed. That hair and that nose, it could only be one person.She walked over to the picture of a football player and blew it a kiss. She then noticed that she was not alone in her bedroom.

"Who in the hell are you?" she yelled in a high pitched voice. Ross knew immediately who it was.


	9. Rachel

So this is where it started. That brown haired girl with the rather large nose. He seemed to be having a certain feeling where most men think from. Before he was noticed, he was getting aroused as his trousers seemed snugger in the crotch. He watched with anticipation as the young girl took off her sweater and skirt and stood before him only in a bra and white cotton panties. Perspiration poured from his forehead . She stood before the full length mirror as she looked at her naked body, slowly touching it tenderly. It would almost be dirty, but he reminded himself how many times he had touched that same body.How many times he made love to it and how that same naked body was the same body that was now a part of him.

Turning around , she was startled by the man in her bedroom. Rachel grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around her body. She wanted to run to her daddy because she was scared of the strange man in her room. Running to the hallway, she noticed that she was alone. Even the servants weren't there. Of course, no one was there, no one was ever home. She was very used to this, but why tonight when there was this strange man in her room. She grabbed one of her father's golf clubs and returned to the bedroom.

With as threatening a voice as she could manage, she said. "Who in the hell are you and what are you doing in my bedroom?

How could Ross tell her who he was.? He was a man who was in his late thirties who she was engaged to be married to. This girl only knew him as her best friend's older brother. Kind of shy and brainy but totally obsessed with her. He then decided that there was a very good chance he was only a figment of her imagination. He could tell her who he was.

"I'm Ross." He smiled. Rachel gave him a dirty look. "Ross? Ross who? The only guy I know with the name Ross is my friend Monica's brother." She said loudly. "You can't be him. You are all grown up and good looking." She said with a mocking tone. "He is such a loser. He has this really bad hair and this dorky mustache and all he ever does is show up where I am. It 's creepy." She shuddered.

"Did you ever think that maybe this guy likes you?" Ross suggested. "A lot." Rachel crinkled up her nose. Her with Ross Geller? "I thought the only thing he liked was dinosaurs and little old ladies." She giggled remembering what she saw in the library. Ross and the school librarian making out.

"I am going to tell you something and I don't want you to get scared." Ross sat down on her bed and patted a place next to her. She was still very apprehensive. "You and I are getting married." He said . "And I am Ross, Ross Geller." Rachel put her hands to her mouth and pulled away. "Let me explain. I am an older Ross. I have been visiting the women of my past and trying to find out how I can be a better man for the woman I love." He said tenderly. ""I have made many mistakes and I want to make up for them." Rachel was confused. "But you haven't done anything rotten to me. You have as far as I know, always been nice to me. Now your sister is another story." She said .

" I love Monica dearly and as adults , she is one of my best friends. It isn't what I have done to you now, but what will happen in the future." Ross tried to explain. "I 'll hide my feelings, I will lie to you, and worst of all I will be unfaithful to you.' He said with shame. Rachel now knew that maybe this guy knew something she needed to know.

"You mean, you and me?" she said softly. "What about the future?" Now he had caught her curiosity. "What will I be like in the future?"she asked curiously. Ross straightened up and cleared his throat.

"Well uh, you will be absolutely gorgeous, very stylish and sweet. There wouldn't be anything you wouldn't do for your friends. You will have a great job that you love. You will work in fashion." He started.

"That's great! I always wanted to do that!" Now Rachel was excited. "Now you said that we would be getting married. Will that be soon?" Ross was very thoughtful. "No , it will be years away. First we will date, then we will break up, then we will have a baby." Rachel stopped him. "Whoa there, a baby before a wedding? And what will we have?"

"A beautiful little girl who will be intelligent as well as beautiful. She will be the spitting image of you. She will have blonde hair and blue eyes. " Rachel tried to grasp the idea of her being a mother ,let alone having a baby with this strange man.

Ross had to explain why he had chosen to meet this woman. "Well. So I won't keep making the same mistakes. I have went to visit the women that I have been with to right the wrongs I have done to them. One thing I want you to understand, I am doing this all for you." With more seriousness than he had shown to the others, he took her arms and said. "I am doing this so you can have the best and we can stay married. I love you more than I have loved anyone. I want to make this work. I want to be the man to make you happy." Rachel was very confused until she looked into his eyes and she didn't know what made her do what she did. She tapped her lips on his and then he threw his arms around the young teenager. She moved her mouth over his and then allowed his tongue to enter his. He moved his hands down her back to her ass and then they reclined on her back. Realizing what he was doing, he backed away.

All he said to her was I'm sorry……..then he smiled at her and said I'll be seeing you…….after he left, Rachel wondered was this all a dream. She stood puzzled for a moment then she went to the phone…"Hey Mon, hi, by any chance is your brother there? He is, well can I come over, let's all do something." Rachel smiled at her new secret. The best was saved for last…She hung up the phone and went to her closet.

Ahhh yes it is the end…but there has to be an epilogue…thanks for being my fans …and making me feel good….


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